If you've read the previous guides from Affordable Leather Products on How to Contact a Professional Dominatrix and What Should I do When I Visit a Pro Domme, then you'll be wondering what happens next...
When you have arrived at your Mistress' premises (or she has arrived at your hotel room), she should already have some idea of what your interests are from your previous phone call or e-mails, however this is the point at which the details should be sorted out.
A good Mistress should first ask if you have any medical problems or issues which may affect the session. You should mention things such as:
* Heart Problems
* Diabetes
* Risk of seizures
* Wearing contact lenses
* Medical implants
* Asthma or other breathing problems which mean that gags or hoods are inadvisable
* Joint problems (for instance if the Mistress offers Wrestling)
This is by no means a comprehensive list, if you think something could cause a problem during a scene, let the Mistress know beforehand so she can prepare if necessary, rather than, for instance, having to dig through your bag for an inhaler if you have an asthma attack during the session.
Discussing activities to happen during the session
You should already have expressed some of your desires during your phone call or e-mail exchange, so at this point the Dominant Lady should ask for more details. For example:
* Are you a masochist? Do you want her to flog, cane or spank you? If so, how hard?
* Are there particular sensations you don't like? Hot, cold, sting, thud? Say now, rather than later.
* Do you want to use a Safe Word? If so, what is it? NB we recommend the Traffic Light system of "Green" meaning "Go ahead" or as a check-in that you're ok, "Amber" meaning "Getting close to a limit" and "Red" meaning "Please Stop this activity". This allows you to "Beg for mercy" etc whilst she knows that you're actually OK.
* Are there any particular names that you want to be called or expressions to avoid? Humiliation play can be an intensely personal thing and accidentally tripping over a wrong expression can ruin a scene.
* Do you want her to leave marks? Some people love a reminder of a domination session, others might find explaining cane marks on their bum to their partner or friends at the gym a little difficult...
* Are there any activities you definitely don't want to engage in?
NB If you have your own outfits for cross-dressing or leather/ latex wear etc mention those at this point and say whether you want to dress yourself or your interest is in being "forced" into them or being made to beg to wear them.
What not to do during discussions
* Don't demand a script. Asking for her to say a few lines is ok, but don't expect her to agree to read out a whole long screed of your fantasies, because isn't going to happen.
* Don't give a laundry list of activities. You're not going to be able to do a dozen things in a one-hour session, so don't waste time listing them all. Pick a few favourites and stick with them.
* Don't say "You can do anything to me" because this almost inevitably turns into "but not that, or that, or..." and just annoys the Domme.
* Don't ask for activities which she has said she won't do. If her website says "No sexual services", she means it!
* Don't waffle on. Keep your answers short and relevant.
Note again that these suggestions are not a comprehensive list, however they will give you an idea of what to expect when you visit a Dominant Lady.
Remember that an experienced Dominatrix should be able to put you at your ease whilst maintaining control, so give her the respect that she is due.
Finally: Before the session starts SWITCH OFF YOUR PHONE! Unless you are waiting for a life-or-death call, it can wait and having your phone ring half-way through a scene can really spoil the mood...!
Once all this has happened, you're ready to play.
What happens in a Pro Domme session?
Affordable Leather Products will cover that in their next guide: What happens during a Session with a Professional Mistress?
Are you a Dominant Lady?
Do you think that we've adequately described what happens at the start of a session? Perhaps you feel we've missed out important information that your clients should know.
Maybe you're a customer who has useful tips for someone visiting a Lady for the first time.
We'd welcome your comments...
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