This is the fourth part of the series on visiting a Professional Dominatrix from Affordable Leather Products. We can only give a general over-view since every Domination Scene is different and will depend on what services a Mistress offers and what you want to have done to you, but here are a few observations:
Once you have discussed with your Mistress what you are interested in and what you are expecting to happen during play and any roles which will be adopted (if that's your style of play), it's time for the scene to start.
Remember that you are voluntarily giving up your power and control and must respect the commands and wishes of the Dominant Woman. She is not simply there to pleasure you and do what you want, she is not your plaything, you are hers. Of course you do have the option of using your Safe Word if things get too extreme for you, however this is not something to do lightly and should be reserved for situations are well outside your comfort zone.
Safe-wording simply because you want a change of activity is not good behaviour from a submissive.
A Dominant should naturally ensure that you do end up enjoying a session, after all, that is the best way to make certain that you will come back again, but a submissive should also behave in a way that makes the Domme feel that they would be happy to have that sub visit them again.
What not to do in a scene with a Professional Dominatrix
Probably the most important thing to avoid is the desire to "Top from the Bottom". In general, BDSM practitioners define a "Top" as someone who does whilst a "Bottom" is someone who is done unto. The Top is in control (whilst still respecting the Bottom's limits and Safe Words).
Some examples of Topping from the Bottom
* Talking back to the Dominatrix or contradicting her unless she has agreed to let you be a "Bratty" sub.
* Deliberately ignoring or "creatively" interpreting an order. This sort of passive-aggressive behaviour is annoying and disrespectful.
* Trying to change her mind without a good reason. Using a Safe Word is fine, saying "I don't want you to do this, I want you to do that instead..." is not.
* Attempting to change the terms of your negotiation whilst in a scene. If your Mistress didn't or agree to X at the start, she's not likely to suddenly say "oh, ok, I'll do it now..."
A good Dominant should, of course, be aware of the reactions of a submissive, for example if they are repeatedly "pulling away" from a toy and are clearly not enjoying it, unless that sort of behaviour was an agreed part of the scene, the Domme would be advised to stop doing it. However if the sub is simply doing it because they want the Mistress to do something else (probably something more pleasurable to them) then that's Topping from the Bottom.
Warming up in a BDSM session
Most people need time to get into a BDSM scene, so the Domme will generally warm up with some gentle activities, especially if the ultimate aim is hard flogging or caning. Using soft toys like suede floggers or horse-hair floggers will allow the sub to get into the mind-set known as "sub space" as well as encouraging the body to produce endorphins which will improve their pain threshold.
If Domination is the theme, she may start by testing your reactions to orders she gives, perhaps making you get on your knees and worship her boots or put you on a leash and have you follow her like a dog.
If you are into cross-dressing, of course, she will want to dress you (or "force" you to dress) and perhaps tell you how pretty you look or make humiliating comments about you being a sissy boy.
Whatever the scene, for most people (except the most experienced) it should build up slowly rather than just jumping in at the deep end with both feet, especially when physical sensations such as flagellation or CBT are involved.
As the BDSM scene progresses
Once you've warmed up, the Mistress may use more severe toys such as crops, pinwheels or paddles to punish you, again, however, she should still watch your reactions and not push limits hard unless you've negotiated that beforehand.
Domination scenes might involve you being made to clean her toilet or engage in water sports if that's your interest. She may make you fetch a ball like a dog or ride you like a pony.
Cross dressers may be taught to walk like a lady or act as her maid or mocked for their lack of masculinity.
There are too many aspects of BDSM to list more than a few here, but a good scene will always develop from what was discussed at the start.
The end of the Domination session
As the scene gets to its conclusion, the Mistress might use the strongest method of punishment you have agreed or, if she permits such things, reward you by letting you masturbate in front of her or onto her boots, making you lick it up afterwards or have you come into a glass from which you will drink a toast to your Mistress.
Whatever the end of the scene, it should finish with both participants having enjoyed themselves in a consensual manner.
What happens after a Pro Domme Session?
The final article on seeing a Professional Mistress from Affordable Leather Products will deal with what happens after the end of a visit to a Dominatrix.
Have you been a client of a Dominant Mistress?
Would you say that we've covered this subject well? Is there anything you think we've missed?
Perhaps you're a Mistress and would like to add something to what we've said?
We would love to hear your comments...
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