What is BDSM and what does it mean?

An introductory guide from Affordable Leather Products

Although, in this post 50 Shades of Drivel Grey world, BDSM is becoming more mainstream, it is regrettable that books and films like FSoG (as well as other bad movies and TV programmes) have resulted in more misunderstandings about what BDSM actually involves, so here's a short introduction which, I hope, will explain it a bit more clear up some of those misunderstandings.

What does BDSM mean?

The term first appeared in a Usenet posting back in 1991 (long before the advent of the internet) and is an acronym which stands for Bondage and Discipline/ Dominance and Submission/ Sadism and Masochism (although some people prefer Slave and Master/ Mistress for reasons which I'll explain later). The letters overlap not just because it's neat (and shorter and easier to pronounce than BDDSSM!) but because there are overlaps between the aspects of the term.

It expanded on the old expression "S&M" because not everyone was into Sadism (the infliction of pain or suffering on someone) and/ or Masochism (the enjoyment of pain or suffering) and people recognised that there was more to the world of Kink.

What is Bondage and Discipline?

Bondage is, as most people understand, the act of restraining someone physically. This can be done simply with ropes, chains, leather straps or cuffs, handcuffs etc, however there are also more "advanced" (for want of a better term) methods such as leather armbinders, strait jackets, sleep sacks and so on. Bondage and Discipline items such as these can be bought from suppliers such as Affordable Leather Products in the UK. You can also use cling film (saran wrap), duct tape or even just restrictive clothing such as corsets to gain the same effect.

Discipline is often thought of as just using physical punishment (spanking, for example) or suede floggers which have a thuddy sensation or leather whips which have a stingy effect to control (consensually) someone's behaviour, but it is actually much a broader topic since it starts off with rules being set and rewards or punishments being assigned for breaches of those rules.

The punishments need not involve the aforementioned physical punishment, an experienced practitioner may be able to control their subject with nothing more than a verbal reprimand or, if preferred, with a humiliating act. For some, just the knowledge that they have failed to obey the rules assigned to them may be sufficient.

What are Dominance and Submission?

Dominance

This is the act (whether physical, mental or emotional) of having power over another person. In a power exchange relationship, the submissive gives their Dominant control over them. This is generally done within agreed limits, eg in the bedroom or for the duration of a session, although some people enjoy what is known as "Total Power Exchange" or 24/7 where the dominance does not end after a session is concluded.

Submission

This is the flip-side of Dominance, since, for someone to be dominant, someone else must be submissive. Again, the submissive may give up their power to (ie allow themselves to be controlled by) a Dominant for an agreed period of time such as a play session or only whilst in the bedroom or, alternatively, on an on-going basis in a 24/7 Total Power Exchange relationship.

What is Sadism and Masochism?

Sadism

From the works of the Marquis de Sade, sadism involves the infliction of pain or suffering on another, however in BDSM this is, again, generally done within prescribed limits, sometimes with the use of a Safe Word which allows the person on the receiving end to stop or ameliorate the scene if it becomes too much for them.

Masochism

Another term derived from literature, this time from the works of Leopold von Sacher-Masoch, which covers the recipient enjoying receiving pain or suffering (which can include mental anguish, rather than physical sensation) as part of a consensual scene.

Slave and Master/ Mistress

As mentioned above, some people dislike the reference to terms such as Sadism and Masochism because of the negative connotations that are associated with them (eg the media referring to a "sadistic crime"), so they prefer alternative terms with consensual "slavery" with pre-arranged limits, BDSM Negotiation Documents, and Safe Words being put in place to ensure that things do not get out of hand and nobody is made to do things that they definitely don't want to do.

What are the rules of BDSM?

If there is one rule that should always be remembered in BDSM it is that of consent. All acts should be fully consensual with both parties being able to stop a scene at any time. This is most important since, if it is not observed, it risks going into the realms of abuse. This can often be done with a BDSM Negotiation Document (see the link above) where the recipient can state what activities they are or are not interested in and to what extent they would like them done unto them.

What are SSC and RACK?

SSC stands for Safe, Sane and Consensual, RACK stands for Risk Aware Consensual Kink. They are different ways of looking at BDSM, however the most important factor in both is that consent is at the heart of them.

These are covered in an article by Affordable Leather Products "What are SSC and RACK" which can be found here.

Have we missed anything out?

Although this is only a brief guide, do you think we've overlooked something important that should have been mentioned?

Is there something we didn't cover? Or did we get it all right...?!

Please do post your comments and observations below.



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